Ramblings of a Pregnant Insomniac Pt. 1

Ever wake up at 4 in the morning wide awake  and paranoid. Paranoid about everything? Now I am sitting here, watching Torchwood and eating a clementine. 

Harrison is the best little boy ever. He moved into his big boy bed today and went down without a hitch. We nixed the box spring because the bed was just too high with it. It took him awhile to fall asleep, but he looked content and contemplative the whole time. He didn't get out of bed, didn't cry or fight bedtime, it was a completely normal night. Except I worry. Worry he has too much bedding, a new pillow, that he'll fall out. 

Matt woke up around 4 as well and came to check the moniter. I had checked a couple of times and while I couldn't make him out (just looks the lumps of fabric) Harrison seemed to be rolling around and sleeping well. I'm still paranoid and I went to check on him. It's a good thing I did. He was at the end of the bed, a half inch from the edge. We'll have to add a border at the end now (the foot board is low). I plopped him back at the top and he went back to sleep. Hopefully he won't make it to he edge again in the next couple of hours. 

Harrison switching beds is not the only thing I keep thinking about, though. I'm getting increasingly nervous for my next doctor appt where they will check my placenta previa status. While I know I am probably going to be fine, it's been weighing on me and I feel like there is no one I can really talk to about it. I had a nightmare the other night about it, that my placenta detached early and I went into early labor and it was terrifying. 

It doesn't help that while perusing the internet you come across the articles, however you might try to avoid, about the parents who lose their babies preterm or even the rare case of the mothers dying of childbirth related complications (yeah, found that one yesterday..)  

See, while most women with a marginal placenta previa are just fine, if it stays the way it is, it's not only a complication for my son, but also for me. So I'm a little paranoid right now. 

I'm also rubbish at 'taking it easy'. While I've been trying to watch what i lift, how I move, I find myself bogged down by needing to accomplish all of my daily tasks. Grocery shopping requires more lifting than I had thought, doing laundry and while I haven't been carrying Harrison, I do have to lift him in and out of the car, his high chair and various other activities through the day (it's a big reason we got him a bed, that and Harrison had started trying to swing his leg over the edge of his crib...). I get twinges and slight abdominal pain. Nothing serious, most likely round ligament pain, which the doctor forewarned me about. It still makes me concerned that I am doing too much.  

The thought of ending up on bed rest is also scary, because I feel like I need to do things. I hate not doing things. 

I felt like I needed to write this all out, clear my thoughts, try and help my anxiety. I can't sleep when I'm anxious. Obviously. At least Matt's been great. I don't tell him enough. He mostly arrives in time for one of my breakdowns, when I'm at the end of my day, the end of my tether.  

Hopefully this Pt. 1 doesn't have a Pt. 2 anytime soon. I like sleeping better.  

22 Weeks

Harrison peed on the potty! Twice! We're not really trying to potty train, but he was so eager about the toilet that I got him a potty seat. He uses it a few times a day for fun, but didn't have any success until a couple nights ago. He loves it! We're still not planning on fully potty training for awhile, but it's a good start. 

As of last week, I can say I am feeling better. Probably not as well as many pregnant women during their second trimester, but I'll take it. I'm on zofran about every other day now, no more sea bands (my wrists are grateful!) and I can finally take my prenatal vitamin.  Also, at my last appt, the nurse said I am almost back up to my pre baby weight, so now I can start gaining. I didn't realize how much I lost during the first trimester, but something between 5-10 pounds. 

I'm also slightly trying to be a bit healthier. My food intake hasn't been the best, since eating what I craved helped nausea. But I can drink water (lots if water!) again and I'm going to avoid the high amount of sugar I had been consuming. Not eliminate it, just watch how much I eat (Halloween candy is still hovering around). 

Is it spring yet? Cause I'm ready for winter to be over (and for my baby to be here.)

I just want to be warm. I am cold all the time. Almost everything I have asked for Christmas is heat related (blankets, thermal leggings, flannel sheets...). My owl onsie is keeping me warm at the moment, but it's probably not the best idea to live in it for the next 6 months. 

Speaking of blankets, Harrison's bedding arrived! Operation "Harrison gets a big kid bed" starts on Friday! Wish us luck!

It's A...!

BOY! I was completely wrong! I was convinced we were having a girl, but there you have it! Harrison will have a little brother and it will be excellent!

We'll be welcoming Samuel Thomas (Sam) in March 2015.

Harrison was allowed to come to the ultrasound and see his little brother. Little brother was not shy, was quick to let us know he was a boy and then kept wiggling throughout the entire appointment. Kid does not sit still. Harrison didn't stay the whole time, but left with my mom so we could finish up our 70 minute appointment and then go to the follow up.

The baby is developing well, no concerns where he is. All ten fingers and ten toes.

When the doctor came in to talk to us, this is the first thing she said. But she had "But" face. Currently, I have what's called Marginal Placenta Previa, which means my placenta is sitting too low in my uterus, partially in the way of the cervix and could cause complications later on (especially for delivery). It's fairly common and most of the time, it resolves itself and the placenta will move out of the way as the uterus expands, so it's not an immediate concern. I do have to go in again in 4 weeks for another ultrasound to see if it's starting to resolve. I cannot do any heavy lifting (including Harrison) and just have to be careful and watch for any spotting. If it doesn't move, I could end up on bed rest in the third trimester and be scheduled for a c-section. My status: try to stay relaxed and calm. Which I am, but I really do have to watch how much energy I am exerting. 

At least now I can breathe a sigh of relief just knowing that we're having a boy. I was getting so anxious just not knowing. I NEEDED TO KNOW! So excited for Monkey #2! 

Is it March yet?

Baby Room

I haven't dealt with depression for a very long time. I had it when I was pretty young, but faded when I reached teen age. The anxiety stuck around, but I'm more or less used to that. 

I haven't dealt with depression in a very long time, but I've felt it over the last few days. It's small and I know it'll fade quickly. I didn't know I would be so saddened by giving up my sewing room. It's time for us to prepare the new baby's room and it needs a lot of work. I have relocated to a small corner of the basement. 

I had to give up "my space" and while I know I was lucky to have that for so long, it's more than just the room. Sewing is how I make a living. I've decided to take a hiatus, not taking on any commissions for awhile, but I still plan on sewing for myself and possibly etsy. I will have to be a lot more careful about the things I leave out. No more scissors , pins or projects, I can't just close a door. 

I know it'll pass, I'm really starting to get into nesting. But change is hard. I know someday, when we move to a somewhat larger home that I will also feel this way. I'll be sad and sentimental. It's who I am. 

That sad, I must also put "I was right." Harrison learning the word "No" went from being pretty cute to intolerable very, very quickly. Tha last few days "No, no, no!"

"Ready for lunch, Harrison?"

"No."

"Can you pick a story, Harrison?"

"No"

"Harrison, it's time for a bath!"

"No."

"Let's change your diaper."

"No no no!"

It had devolved into full on tantrums. It's like just learning how to say the word has given him a new sense of defiance. So many meltdowns. Time outs. And he was grounded from any Halloween candy yesterday. Hopefully, this newfound defiance will grow boring he'll go back to normal. Or he's hit terrible twos a little early. He is currently sitting in his crib saying "No." 

But he did try to use the toilet the other day. He didn't actually go, but he asked to use it and I figured "sure!" It was cute, and I think I'm going to get him a little potty so he can get used to the idea. We don't have any plans to potty train soon, but if Harrison wants to, we might give it a shot. 

Here's some pictures from our awesome Halloween! 

Pumpkin painting, the parade, Zoo Boo, Moms Club party, and taking Harrison Trick or Treating for the first time. It was a great year for my favorite holiday! 

Now it's Christmastime according to retail. 

*Edit*

Also, I'm apparently 20 weeks today! Halfway there!! Two days until we find out boy or girl! Any guesses?